Roundabouts
by s nuttall
Summary: I still loved him, I would always love him. But how could I stay with him to raise our child with him when she was also carrying his baby. Our epic love was destroyed by him jumping to the wrong conclusion and then jumping into bed with her. Rated M.
1. Chapter 1

The last weekend of my vacation was upon us. It should have been a day of relaxation before I went back to work, being a nurse was a crazy job, but I loved it. The day definitely shouldn't have been spent holding my cousin - Jasper - as we both cried for the loss of our parents.

I grew up in a small town in Texas, with my mother and stepfather. We lived on a ranch with my Aunt, uncle and cousins. I loved my life, but when it came time for college I decided to spend time with my father, so I moved to the rainy little town of Forks. My father and I had always been close. He visited me on the ranch every time he could, so moving closer to him was an easy decision to make, even though I knew I would miss my family like mad.

Life was great. I had amazing friends, and an even more amazing boyfriend - Edward. Even thinking his name after five years together gave me butterfly's.

Edward was a doctor at the hospital that I worked at, and that's where we had met, we had an immediate attraction to each other and a whirlwind romance. Everything about my life was amazing - until now.

My mother, stepfather and Jasper's parents had been out for the night and had been hit by a drunk driver on their way back. They didn't stand a chance. Their car had lost control on the dirt track and gone down over a cliff, bursting into flames on impact.

My cousin Rosalie was flying to Forks from new York, where she worked as a model. Jasper had come straight to me from Texas, he wanted to break the news to me face to face, not over the phone. He held me as I broke down, and we cried together. I wanted Edward. His arms around me always made me feel safe, but he was still away at a conference and wouldn't be back for a few days. Jasper and I sat and reminisced about our childhood, telling stories and crying, and when it came time for bed he held me on my bed as we both succumbed to a restless sleep.

Waking on sunday was hard work. My eyes felt heavy and swollen due to the constant tears that refused to stop. I felt sick and dashed to the toilet, emptying my stomach. I had been sick every morning for the past week, and deep down I knew that I was pregnant. The sickness, the tiredness and sore boobs, it all added up. I had been on my way to the store yesterday to buy a test before Jasper had showed up. I wanted to know before Edward's return, so I could surprise him with the news of his impending fatherhood.

I felt someone holding my hair back and I knew it was Jasper. "How far along are you?" he asked, without being needed to be told. We were just so tuned in with each other. "Not sure yet" I mumbled as I brushed my teeth. "

"Ive not eve had it confirmed yet. I was going to buy a test yesterday, but..." I trailed off as a look of understanding crossed his face. "Well, no time like the presence"

Walking down the street in town was surreal, how could life just continue on like this when half of my family's life ws over in the blink of an eye. After buying the test we were walking back towards the car when I happened to catch the glimpse of copper coloured hair in the café across the road. I knew immediately it was Edward, only he had that beautiful unique coloured hair. I grabbed hold of Jasper's hand and hurried into the café. He was sitting around a table with James and Alice, looking sick and ruffled.

"Hey babe, what are you doing back so early? I asked, wondering about the conference and why he hadn't called me. He gave me the worst glare along with Alice and I wondered what the hell was going on.

"Bells" James chuckled. "What happened to you last night, Edward here flew back early to surprise you and his parents for their anniversary. It was a hell of a party" he said.

Fuck. The Cullens annual party was last night. I had forgotten all about it with the arrival of Jasper and the news of our parents. That explains the stink eyes I was still getting.

"I'm so sorry guys, but something came up" Edward and Alice snorted at that. "I bet it did" I heard Alice spit. A voice cleared at the side of me and I felt bad for forgetting Jasper, he had never been to Forks before, so he didn't know who any of these people were.

"Oh, sorry Jazz" I said. "This is Alice, my best friend." I introduced them. "Nice to meet you ma'am" he drawled, letting the Texan accent come out" I chuckled. "This is James, their cousin and this" I pointed t my boyfriend "Is Edward, my boyfriend. Guys, this is Jasper, my cousin from Texas" Recognition overcame Edward's face as I introduced them, then a look of horror for some reason.

"Cousin" Edward and Alice whimpered as I heard a chuckle from behind me. Jessica Stanley was standing their. Edward's face went even whiter and he looked as sick as a dog.

"I think you'll find that Edward is my boyfriend bitch" She hissed. I looked shocked, from Edward to Alice then back to Jessica again. Alice had tears in her eyes, Edward looked even worse and Jessica was smiling smugly.

"What the fuck are you going on about, Edward is my boyfriend, we all know your in love with him but too bad for you he doesn't return your feelings" she laughed hysterically. "Oh yeah, well it sure wasn't your name he was yelling as he fucked me last night and this morning, it was mine" she said, gleefully. I stood up quickly and backed away. I looked at Edward, begging him to tell me it wasn't true, but the tears and guilt he had on his face... well, I knew it was true. I sobbed out as I turned to run. Jasper looked feral at the moment. I tried to stop him from killing Edward, he grabbed at Edward's jacket, dragging him to his feet while I tried to pull him back.

"All night long I held my cousin as she sobbed over the death of both our parents" he growled. Edward's eyes flew to me, horror, understanding and sympathy showed, then fear as Jaspers grip tightened round him. "And all she did was cry for you, wanting it to be you holding her" Edward tears were falling down his face as he looked at me. "But you were too busy screwing some skank to bother with her." I begged Jasper to leave it be, I just wanted to get out of their and escape this embarrassment.

"Bella" Alice whispered. "I'm so sorry. We came by last night to check up on you, we found you in bed with him" she said, looking apologetic at Jasper. "I just thought... we thought..."

"Thought what Alice. That I would jump into bed with another man the moment by boyfriend's back was turned, that I would fuck another man who wasn't the love of my life. You knew me better than that, or t least I thought you did" I whispered at the end. I turned my back to her. "Jasper, please" I pleaded, he looked at Edward with such loathing then he pushed him into the booth, causing Edward to lose his footing and fall onto the plastic seats. "Stay the fuck away from my cousin, or I will end you" he roared, before turning back and pulling me out the café.

We made it back to the car quickly, with him supporting me. I was too shocked to move much. He buckled me in and drove like a mad man down the road, passing the café I noticed Alice sitting outside on a bench, while Edward fell to his knee's as we drove by, gripping his hair and looking utterly heartbroken.

That makes two of us buddy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank-you all for your reviews for the last chapter. I cant believe how many I had, so thanks again. :)**

**Disclaimer: Characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play around with them**.

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Chapter 2.

"You've got to try to eat something Bells." Jasper said, "Its been two days". I lay curled up in a ball on my bed, feeling as if the whole world had ended, and in away it had. Edward had meant everything to me. He was my past, my present, and my future, but that was all gone now. What hurts the most was how little faith he had in me, how he could so easily believe that I would hurt him that way. Why had he simply not woken me up even if to yell at me. I would have gone ballistic and screamed at the pair of them if the shoe had been on the other foot, but no. He had chosen to believe the worst, and had singlehandedly destroyed everything. Alice, I couldn't believe it. She had been a good friend to me ever since I first moved here. I thought that she knew me. Obviously I had been wrong if she had thought of me being capable of something like that.

"Right. That's it." Rosalie yelled as she tugged the covers from me. She had arrived yesterday and I knew that Jasper had told her about recent events, s I heard her yelling about hanging his balls from the empire state building. Such a `Rose` thing to say. I would have laughed if it wasn't so depressing.

"I want you up now and in that shower, because honey... well, you smell like a horses ass. After that your going to piss on that goddamn stick, I need to know if I got a new little cuz growin' in there, then your going to eat breakfast and forget all about what those fuckers did to you." I sighed loudly before sitting up slowly.

"Your right" I said simply, knowing I would never win against Rose when she was in bitch mode.

After showering and doing the pregnancy test, I sat on my bed while waiting the three minutes it took for the test to show its result. Rose and Jasper had disappeared, but the smell of bacon coming from the kitchen let me know that they were still down there. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand to check the time. 10.30am. Twenty missed calls from both Edward and Alice, just as many texts, and even a missed call from Esme.

After deleting everything from Alice and Edward, which all began the same way... _I'm so sorry... I fucked up... Should have let you explain... Forgive me, I love you and please forgive me..._ blah, blah fucking blah. I was angry, the hurt seemed to be passing but now I was pissed at them. I did listen to Esme's message though, I loved both her and Carlisle immensely. It would be hard to be without them.

_"Isabella honey... I have no Idea what my Idiot of a son as done to you, but he has not left is room for the past few days. I don't want to interfere, I just want to know your okay, please call me sweetheart_... Beep! End of message.

I deleted it after hearing it, It hurt to much too hear her motherly voice right now. Especially as of right now, I had no mother, or father.

I walked towards the bathroom slowly, not really knowing why I was delaying the inevitable. I knew it was going to say positive, I could feel it, and a woman just knows. I picked up the test. Just like I knew, it read positive. I threw it in the trashcan. "Just great" I mumbled to myself. Knowing I would have to face Edward eventually. We may be over, but I would never deny him the chance to be a father to his child, or deny my child the right to know his father. I guess that came from having such a stable and happy upbringing, Edward and I maybe over now, but I am sure we could remain civil enough to do right by this child. I knew he would make an amazing father, and I wanted his family involved, especially Carlisle and Esme. I couldn't deny them the right to know their grandchild.

I walked into the kitchen to find Rosalie drinking a glass of orange juice, while Jasper tried to act as though he was reading the newspaper. Both eyes looked towards me as I entered the room.

"I'm pregnant" I said simply. 3...2...1... "Oh my fucking god!" Rosalie exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and hugging me. "This is brilliant." she squealed. Jasper sat quietly watching me with a small smile on his face.

"How do you feel about it?" he asked, carefully. I shrugged. "I'm happy about it, I know its going to be hard, especially with the way things are at the moment with the Cullens, but yeah... I'm happy about it Jasper." I said, smiling.

"You don't need those tossers Bells, you've got us." Rosalie growled. "I know that Rose, but I would never make my child suffer because his father and I had problems, and despite appearances, Edward is a sweet man".

"Bella..." Rose spoke harshly. "Im not saying that im going to forgive him Rose, but I owe it to this baby to at least try to get along with him, I know he'll do the right thing and try to make it right, but I wont forgive him, the relationship between Edward and me is over, but I know that we can do right by this baby" I bit into a piece of toast, waiting for the reply that I am sure is coming.

"Its your life Bella, and its your decision. As much as I hate Edward Cullen, I guess he does have a right to know about the baby. I just hope you know what you're doing" I smiled back at her and no more was said, for now.

After we ate breakfast, I excused myself from the table and went to text Edward, asking him to meet me at the small coffee shop in town. An hour later I was sitting with a coffee opposite Edward. I've got to admit, I almost didn't recognise him when he walked through the door. He looked like he hadn't shaved in days, his was rumpled and he just looked like shit. it was obvious that our split was taking its toll on him, but he had brought it on himself.

He wouldn't meet my eyes as he spoke my name softly.

"I need to talk to you about something" I told him. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to come right out and say it." I took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant Edward" His head shot up so fast that he almost gave himself whiplash"

"Your pregnant?" He almost whispered. His eyes filled with tears as a smile formed on his lips, as quick as it came, it disappeared. "Wha..." he cleared his throat. "What do you plan on doing about it?" He asked, almost afraid of what my answer would be.

"Im planning on keeping the baby Edward" I told him, causing him to break out in another smile. "thank god" I heard him whisper. I'm not sure if I was meant to hear that, but I did.

"He didn't ask to be born into this fucked up situation, we just need to put aside our differences and do whats in the best interest of our child." He looked down at the table, ashamed.

"Im so sorry Bella. I fucked up big style, I know that, but im hoping we can make this right. I cant function without you. I need you Bella, and i'll do everything in my power to gain your forgiveness."

I looked down myself for a moment, pleading with myself not to cry. I know he meant every word he said, but I was not sure I could forgive him, and I certainly would never be able to forget.

"Im not looking for us to rekindle our relationship Edward. Im sorry, but I cant forgive you for what you did to us, all I can offer you is a chance to prove yourself as a father, and that's all there will ever be between us."

I heard him choke back a sob, but I didn't have it in me to care. I left him sitting there with a promise to call him about any appointments I have for the baby, then I hurried out before he could see the tears that were falling.

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**Thanks for reading**.


	3. Chapter 3

**I know I don't update as much as I could, but I am a 33 year old, living with my husband, our 5 children and my grandaugter. I love writing, but as you can imagine, there's a bit of a cue to use the laptop, and as its my daughters laptop, I have to wait my turn. If that's something to moan about, then go ahead. I have a life away from fanfiction. On that note...**

**Thank-you so much for all of your reviews for the last chapter, it means a lot that you take the time to review.**

**Disclaimer... All characters belong to the very talented Stephenie Meyer. **

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Chapter 3.

I felt like the world was ending, and in a way, I guess it was. Bella had meant everything to me and without her my life became unbearable. I lost her, I fucked up, major style, and I lost her over a night that I have no recollection of.

I was still sitting at the table in the café minutes after she had walked out leaving me alone. I didn't blame her for that either, I had hurt her and now I was facing the consequences. It was my own stupid fault. She was hurting and she didn't deserve that, she only deserved the best out of life.

I felt the tears brimming in my eyes. I tried blinking them away, but there was just too many so they rolled down my cheeks before I had a chance to wipe them away. The waitress looked at me with sympathy, unaware that my pain was of my own doing. I motioned to my empty cup and she quickly came forward, refilling my cup before scurrying away from me.

Bella was pregnant. my child was growing inside her, the child we had always dreamed of having one day. I certainly never imagined it being under these circumstances though. In my dreams, I had been ecstatic when Bella told me we were going to be parents. I would pick her up, twirling her around in the air, laughing while she squealed in glee, then I would drop to my knees, placing loving and gentle kisses to the baby growing within. I certainly never thought that we would be where we are right now, and it was my own fault.

My entire form was shaking slightly with the effort it took to stop me from bursting into tears. I deserved this pain, this all consuming, heart aching pain. I wished with everything in me that I had never gone to that fucking party with Alice.

Arriving back in Forks that night, I had hurried right over to Bella's, picking up Alice on the way. I was tired due to the long flight but I was desperate to be back in my loves arms. I had missed her like crazy. Outside her house stood Old Mrs Cope, chatting away excitedly to Jessica.

"Oh Edward" Jessica cooed in what she thought was a sexy voice. "Are you coming to the party with me?" What the hell was she on?. "I didn't know that you and Bella were even still an item, especially with that arm candy she's been flaunting around here for the last few days." What the hell was she talking about, My Bella would never cheat on me. She wouldn't.

"I know right" she giggled, blowing out her bubble gum before sucking it back In. "I couldn't believe it either, but I saw them, I saw them kissing Eddie, right there on her porch." she pointed near Bella's front door.

"What the hell bitch?" Alice yelled. Everybody knew that there was no love lost between Bella and Jessica, but to think that she would lie so outrageously was mind blowing.

"Whatever Jessica. I don't have time for this bullshit." I said walking away. Entering Bella's. I couldn't help feeling the airs on my arms standing tall, something definitely felt strange, but I wouldn't let Jessica's words effect me. I couldn't. She was a bitter cow who couldn't get over the fact that I had chosen to be with Bella and not give into her advances.

It was eerie quiet as I walked across the landing carpet. Taking a calming breath, I opened Bella's bedroom door, and that breath left me in a painful gasp. It couldn't be true, it couldn't.

She wouldn't do that to me! She wouldn't, she wouldn't, she wouldn't. But the proof was staring me straight in the eyes. My Bella was in bed with some blonde man that I had never seen before. I had to get out of there. I couldn't breathe. suddenly I needed to put as much space between me and the sight before me.

Suddenly I was not here anymore. I was back in college with my eighteen year old girlfriend, Kate. Kate's words floated around my head. "You're useless Eddie. This was always about sex. Sex and money, that's all you ever were to me". My heart breaking as a drunk and naked Garret (who had been my best friend at the time) hurried around her dorm trying to find his clothes. I had loved Kate dearly and thought that she was the one, but that was like a needle in a haystack compared to the amount of ove that I felt for Bella, or had felt for her a few moments ago. I hurried out of that bedroom and ran out to my car. "I told you so" Jessica laughed. "Call me if you need me Eddie" I ignored her, jumping in the car and driving away

Alice was asking what had happened, so I snapped, yelling that what Jessica had said was the truth. I needed a drink, a lot of drinks actually to get that visual out of my head. I don't know how it had happened, but Alice had convinced me to go to that party, and the idea of getting totally trashed was appealing right now.

The more I drank, the more the pain seemed to disappear, so that's what I continued to do, drink and drink. I lost count of how many I had, I vaguely remembered Jessica arriving at the party, and the smile of satisfaction on her face, then I remembered no more.

Waking up the next morning, I felt happy that it all seemed like a bad dream. My arms wrapped tightly around Bella's warm body. It took a moment to realise I had a splitting migrane, and the body in my arms didn't smell like the strawberry smell that I had come to associate to Bella. I stumbled, shocked from the bed, hurrying to gather my clothes. I got the hell out of there as fast as I could.

I was inconsolable. I felt like I had just cheated on my Bella, even though she had cheated first, that's now who I am. Its certainly not how I was raised. I knew that I had to speak with Bella, to find out what was going on. Then suddenly she was there.

Alice had taken me to get a coffee, to help cure my hangover. Bella was there, with the man who was apparantly her cousin from texas. He was there to console her, like the family he was. I felt sick, all I wanted to do was to hold her. To tell her how sorry I was. Sorry for the loss of her parents, sorry for jumping to conclusions, sorry for simply fucking everything up. But the look of heartbreak on her face as Jessica told her about our night stopped me in my tracks. I heard Jessica sprouting bullshit about having sex with her twice, that was a fucking lie, at least I think it was. I knew when I woke up this morning I had gotten the hell out of there, so I certainly never slept with her this morning, but I did wake up naked next to her this morning, so we must of had sex at one point. My head was killing me, wondering what the hell I had done. I saw her cousins fist flying in the direction of my face, but I did nothing to prevent the impact, I knew I had deserved it. I deserved that and a whole lot more. I was suddenly on my back on the bench. Alice was screaming at Jessica, but I only had eyes for the heartbroken girl who was practically dragging her cousin out the doors, and I knew I had just lost the most important person in my life.

Now she tells me she's pregnant. A few months ago I would have been over the moon. I am happy about it, the child Bella carried was created out of love, a love so deep that I knew that I'd never get over it. I would do right by Bella, I would support her the best I could and try my best to make her forgive me. If it took months or years, I had to try. My life was meaningless without her by my side.

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